Five Jokes: 4-26-2024

MIKE POOLE TAKEOVER! - Venice's New Tourist Entry Fee, Biden's False Claim, A.I. Racism, Cold Case Playing Cards, and A Dolphin Murder Investigation

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Hi, it’s Friday in America and as a few boys who turned into men once said “And now we’ve come to the end of the road.” This is my last day filling in for

Tim Barnes

, who is scientifically researching just how bad 2002’s Juwanna Mann has aged. I’ve been and will continue to be (barring any witness protection ) Mike Poole. You can find me on Instagram arguing with nerds who the best Star Wars pilot was (Wedge Antilles). But you don’t care about that you want jokes!

Here we go!

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.

Y’all hear about this?..

• Yesterday — Venice, Italy began charging an entry fee to tourists seeking to make a day trip into the city. The price is 5 euro for entry, and 800 for the service fee on TicketMaster.

• This week at a campaign event President Biden repeated a false claim that “he used to drive an 18 wheeler.” It’s unclear if he was trying to appeal to working class voters or slide into Optimus Prime’s DMs.

  

• An employee at Baltimore-area high school is being accused of making a false A.I. recording to make his principal appear racist. That’s way too much work when checking someone’s pre-2008 Facebook posts normally gets the job done.

• Southern Mississippi correctional facilities are being issued decks of playing cards featuring cold case information in an effort to find useful tips on otherwise dormant investigations. Authorities are hoping this leads to a calling bluffs to calling cops pipeline.

Finally…

• Authorities are offering $20,000 in exchange for information to help find who repeatedly shot a dolphin off the coast of Louisiana. All I want to know about this perfect mash-up of Narcos and Finding Nemo is; who are his ops and what did he do?

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

I hope you enjoyed those jokes! My name is Mike Poole and you can follow me on my website, Instagram, and X!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

I  loved Charmed, but also agree wholeheartedly with this take from Lanee’ Sanders:

https://twitter.com/ilovelancelot/status/1759708390945607750

STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM

SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!

Maybe the only joke I’ve ever tweeted?

https://twitter.com/ThisIsMikePoole/status/1238988791467126784

“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” —

Tim Barnes

explains it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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Mike Poole is a Brooklyn-based comedian and late night writer who’s credits include writing for The Amber Ruffin Show and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He has performed all across the world doing improv, standup, sketch, and characters. He is the creator and host of Mike Poole’s Pool Party, and is a member of My Mommas Biscuits.

He has appeared on Comedy Central, Disney+, MTV, NBC, Food Network, A&E Network, Peacock and more on their television, digital, and streaming services.

Formerly a teacher and performer at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York City. He performed on many shows including Harold Night , Cipha Sound’s Take It Personal, and Baby Wants Candy.

Also a musical improvisor he has travelled across America, Europe, and even Off-Broadway with groups like North Coast: Hip Hop Improv and Baby Wants Candy: Shamilton. He is a former member of Netflix and No Chill and Improvised Gilmore Girls.

Originally from Winslow Township NJ, Mike Poole graduated from Montclair State University with BA in Broadcasting with a minor in Art & Design. He has a lot of feelings about Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and desperately wants more people to discuss these films with him.