Five Jokes: 5-15-2025
UnitedHealth Investigation, New Mario Movie Title, Grok A.I., GOP Insiders Break With Donald Trump, and A Ben & Jerry's Cameo At RFK Jr.'s Senate Hearing
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, the Supreme Court is considering the once fringe argument that the 14th Amendment doesn’t grant birthright citizenship, and now that “Max” is changing it’s name back to “HBO Max,” we can just think of the past four years as —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
UnitedHealth is under criminal investigation for possible Medicare fraud. Detectives have been warned to avoid the phrase “Gun to your head…” during interrogations.
Related: The next Mario movie’s title got accidentally announced. However, Nintendo insists “The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2: Free Luigi, You Cowards” is a naming convention they were toying around with before December 4, 2024.
Elon Musk’s Grok AI can’t stop talking about ‘white genocide’ — which, I can only assume is the name of a Tesla vehicle.
In a rare break with the president, some inside the GOP are expressing concern over the potential national security risks of accepting a luxury Boeing 747 jet from Qatar to replace Air Force One. Some have bravely risen up to ask “Is there enough Boeing to share with the whole party?”
Finally…
Ben & Jerry’s co-founder Ben Cohen was forcibly removed from a hearing at which senators grilled Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. The moment has inspired the company’s controversial new flavor: F**k This Sh*t — that’s just an empty tub with a QR code to a Democracy Now video.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
The perfect comic strip doesn’t exi—
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
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Hard to pick just one today
Ben must have shouted out the new flavor name just before the Sergeant-At-Arms threw him out.