Five Jokes: 7-23-2024

Kamala Harris' Delegate Support, The Pentagon's Expensive Doomsday Machine, Minim Surpasses T-Swift, Elon Musk vs 'Woke Mind Virus,' and Google's Reversal On Cookies

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• Kamala Harris has support of enough Democratic delegates to become the party’s presidential nominee. The white smoke emerging from DNC headquarters represented both their endorsement of Harris and the race of her eventual running mate.

• The Pentagon wants to spend $141 billion on a doomsday machine — yet won’t explain why designs for the device look like an expensive espresso machine labelled “full time agents only.”

• Eminem’s latest album, “The Death of Slim Shady (Coup de Grâce),” debuted at No. 1, unseating Taylor Swift’s“The Tortured Poets Department” after 12 weeks. So, be careful out there. Never a good sign when the whites start fighting.

• Elon Musk says his estranged child's gender-affirming care sparked his fight against 'the woke mind virus' — promising that future neuralink implants will “de-woke-ify” minds with a constant loop of the film The Boondock Saints.

  

Finally…

• Google is moving away from its plan to end ad-tracking cookies.

  The decision was made after an unnamed employee searched “yo-yo dieting” on Bing.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

• Hope from Laurie Kilmartin…

  https://x.com/anylaurie16/status/1815649605088137514

  

• The greatest Kamala Harris impression you’ll ever see, from Allison Reese…

• Expertly crafted jokes from Laura Merli…

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Travel back to my 2023 text message interview with

Eliza Cossio

!

A [TEXT MESSAGE] Conversation With Writer/Director Eliza Cossio

UPCOMING SHOWS

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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