Five Jokes: 7-24-2024
Musk Backtracks On Financial Trump Support, Apple's Foldable iPhone Technology, Republican Strategies Against Harris, Netanyahu’s Address To Congress, and The Discovery Of "Dark Oxygen"
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Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, and, wow, the Beetle Juice 2 trailer looks legitimately fun!
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Elon Musk backed down from his $45 million a month pledge to Trump, saying he doesn’t ‘subscribe to cult of personality.’ But if it’s anything like a steaming service — good look finding the “cancel” button. Best he can do is pledge slightly less for a ‘cult of personality’ with ads.
Apple’s first foldable iPhone could arrive in 2026. Writers can’t wait for the tactile experience of crumpling their notes app when they run out of ideas.
Republican leaders urge colleagues to steer clear of racist and sexist attacks on Harris. “According to our calculations,” said one leader “She is the physical embodiment of a leftist war tactic known as intersectional feminism. Say one wrong thing and… kaboom!”
Dozens of Democrats are skipping Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s address to Congress. Another classic case of “This massive display of imperialist hypocrisy could’ve been an email.”
Finally…
Scientists are baffled by "dark oxygen" being produced deep in the ocean — describing it as “surprisingly well-spoken.”
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The GOP knows that making racist and sexist attacks on Harris should be reserved for Trump alone.