Five Jokes: 7-26-2023

WGA Strike, Dogs vs. Secret Service, Teamsters Win, Kevin Thee McCarthy, & Ron DeSantis

Tim Barnes

Jul 26, 2023

Hey, happy Wednesday. Here are Five Jokes!

Y’all hear about this?..

Yesterday marked day 85 of the WGA strike. So, when this strike eventually does end, studios can look forward to every writer pitching shows about, well… strikes! “You heard about PEAKY Blinders but what about PICKET Blinders?” Hey, this is what you forced our lives to be for a hundred days, what did you really expect?

'Commander the dog,' Joe Biden's White House pup, bit Secret Service agents 10 times. Bigger problem: If the service is so secret, why the hell do we know about this? Sounds like Commander is only biting the ones willing to squeal to the press. Trump had Roy Cohn, but Biden has “dog-who-wants-his-bone” know what I mean?! Hahaha. Okay, I took this too far. Noted.

The UPS union has called off its strike threat after securing pay raises for workers. And if you’re wondering what that sound outside your door is, it’s a thousand TV and film writers realizing they should have become delivery people. To be fair, “Teamsters” does sound more intimidating than “Streamsters.”

Kevin McCarthy says info about the Biden family 'rises to level of an impeachment inquiry.’ When asked to describe exactly how low that level is, he shocked everyone by doing Meg Thee Stallion’s knees challenge.

Finally…

Ron DeSantis is cutting his presidential campaign staff by more than a third. When staffers asked why, DeSantis stated: “Well, you’ll actually benefit from eating packaged ramen every day.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!

https://twitter.com/TimBarnes451/status/1661518168509104130

If you enjoyed those Five Jokes, check out the yesterday’s jokes!

JOKES FROM OTHER PEOPLE

https://twitter.com/ChrisEstrada85/status/1683659823139921922

https://twitter.com/roywoodjr/status/1684016287964430336

https://twitter.com/joshcarlosjosh/status/1683529207954165760

(you can also find more hilarious Tolkien content at

Jokien with Tolkien

UPCOMING SHOWS

“Movie Quiz” - August 7, 7:00PM @ Brooklyn Comedy Collective (TICKETS)

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SOMETHING MORE?

Hmm… Do you like sci-fi? I’ve been writing short stories over at Alternate Timeline loosely inspired by current events. Check out this one titled, Watching Ghosts — which is inspired by the Apple Vision Pro glasses!