Five Jokes: 7-26-2024

Disney/Hulu/Max Bundle, Snoop Dogg In Paris, J.D. Vance's Couch Allegations, Netanyahu/Trump Meeting, Obama's Kamala Harris Endorsement

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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• The Disney Plus, Hulu, and Max streaming bundle is now available. The combined service also comes with a clip of John Oliver comedically breaking down why the villain in whichever series you’re watching is “the worst.”

• Snoop Dogg carried the Olympic torch before the opening ceremony in Paris. He quickly handed it off in the first ever “dream Olympic torch rotation.”

  

• The Associated Press has removed a fact-check claiming JD Vance has not had sex with a couch. Rumors now swirl that a sofa has come forward.

• Netanyahu will meet Trump at Mar-a-Lago, mending a years-long rift — with their mutual love of border walls, “Muslim bans,” and Hannibal Lecter memes.

Finally…

• Barack Obama has endorsed Kamala Harris, giving her expected but crucial support — and forging the G.O.P.s first ever “nightmare presidential power rotation.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Conan O’Brien and his famous blood pressure monitor…

STRAY THOUGHT

My thoughts are tapped today!

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

We’re continuing our #HoteGeorgeSummer coverage over at

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Ben Crew

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UPCOMING SHOWS

To any New Yorkers out there — on August 14, I’m hosting Banned Book Comedy at Queens Public Library! (TIX/INFO)

“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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