Five Jokes: 7-28-2023
Five Jokes: 7-28-2023
Resurrected Animal, Phubbing, DeSantis 2.0, Hottest Month Globally, & A Really Shiny Planet
Hey, it’s Friday, the 2023 Emmy Awards are postponed as Hollywood actors and writers strike, and here are Five Jokes!
Y’all hear about this?..
Scientists resurrected an extinct microscopic animal that was frozen for 46,000 years in Siberia. They also translated the microbe’s first words, which were “Do I make you horny, baby?.. Oh, behave!”
The New York Times reports that “phubbing,” a.k.a. “ignoring your partner in favor of your phone,” can lead to feelings of distrust and ostracism. “Wow, that’s crazy…,” said members of a test study, before laughing at a muted TikTok and never explaining why.
After budget troubles and staff layoffs, Ron DeSantis began a slimmed-down reboot of his presidential campaign in Iowa. They’re calling it, Racism-Lite — “Same old bigotry, but now with lower calories.”
July is on track to be the hottest month globally since record-keeping began in 1850. That’s right folks… it’s officially THE HOTTEST MONTH SINCE THE LAST DECADE OF SLAVERY! Good News: Red state school books will acknowledge global warming. Bad News: They’ll probably blame it on the Emancipation Proclamation.
Finally…
Astronomers have come across the shiniest planet ever found. On the flip side, astronomers from the shiny planet have come across, “Yet another society ruled under the cruel grip of our intergalactic foe, Grimace!”
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
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JOKES FROM OTHER PEOPLE
https://twitter.com/blacktress/status/1684765676056293377
The Galactic Federation interviews Earth for membership (by Vinny Thomas)
UPCOMING SHOWS
“Movie Quiz” - August 7, 7:00PM @ Brooklyn Comedy Collective (TICKETS)
SOMETHING MORE?
Well, well, well… So, you decided to stick around. Let’s see what we have here. Oh! I’m a guest this week on the Genre Reveal Party podcast hosted by Dave Maher and Madeline-Lane McKinley to discuss Jerrod Carmichael’s groundbreaking standup special, Rothaniel!
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See you next week with 25 more jokes!
