Five Jokes: 8-10-2023
Five Jokes: 8-10-2023
Space Tourism, Disney Raising Streaming Prices, UPS Drivers vs Tech Bros, A.I. Peer Pressure, & Anthony Sabatini's College Thesis!
Hey! It’s Thursday, two major fashion conglomerates are about to merge, and so are today’s headlines with these Five Jokes!
Y’all hear about this?..
Virgin Galactic’s first space-tourism flight launches today.
Among its three passengers are Keisha Schahaff and her teenage daughter. Asked why she agreed to the trip, Keisha said, “Hopefully rocketing into the cosmos and witnessing the glory of Earth from above will get her to stop scrolling TikTok for a few seconds.”
Disney will significantly raise prices of Disney+ and Hulu. In a controversial move, customers can now either pay six extra dollars per month, or work a two hour shift as Goofy at the theme park.
Kid: “Goofy! Goofy! Can we take a picture??!”
Goofy: “Sure, kid. Anything that helps me watch ‘The Bear’ without ads.”
Tech workers are reacting with a mixture of anger and admiration to UPS drivers landing a $170,000-a-year package. Speaking anonymously, one tech-bro said, “No offense, but earning roughly the same amount as a UPS driver makes developing robotic gun-wielding police dogs feel a little less cool, you know? Like, what’s the point?”
With A.I., hackers can now simply talk computers into misbehaving. Which explains the rising number of gang affiliated ATM machines. Trust me, you do not want to get money out of a red ATM while wearing a blue shirt.
Finally…
GOP congressional candidate, Anthony Sabatini, lifted massive segments of his college thesis from Wikipedia. To make matters worse, his college thesis was titled “How To Have Sex.”
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A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
Speaking of ATMs… (check out more Uncertain Life comics here!)
SOMETHING MORE?
How about my theory that every piece of media has a specific food counterpart?
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See you tomorrow with five more jokes!
