Five Jokes: 8-17-2023

Stolen British Museum Jewels, Space Question Mark, Left Leaning GPT, Psychology of Taylor Swift, Unearthed Michigan State Observatory, & Brands Leaving Twitter!

Aug 17, 2023

Hey! It’s Thursday, and an invasive hornet that hunts honeybees has been spotted in the U.S. for the first time, but let’s just focus on these Five (invasive) Jokes!

Y’all hear about this?..

A British Museum staffer was fired after ancient jewels went ‘missing.’ Heads of the museum are now fearing the worst — which is that the jewels have safely returned to the regions from which they were stolen.

People are freaking out over a question mark seen in space.
But the scientific explanation is pretty simple: If Batman can have a signal, why can’t The Riddler?

Arizona State University has a course named ‘Psychology of Taylor Swift.’ And, I don’t know about you, but — wait, what was that? Kanye has something to say.
Um, okay. Thanks, Kanye?

Some new research indicates that Chat GPT leans left. However, that research is based solely on Chat GPT’s preference for “zero-one/one-zero” pronouns.

Finally…

Speaking of universities, Michigan State found an observatory from 142 years ago buried on campus. Here’s a photo of the observatory from around 1888 —
What is happening there on the right? Can we zoom in on that? —
Yeah, its probably safe to assume this group was observing a little more than just the stars. I mean, I bet they — wait… Here comes Kanye again… What do you want?!
Don’t worry, Kanye. I fully support the Michigan State observatory crew of 1888, whether they were looking at the stars or into each other’s eyes.
But hopefully it was both, because that telescope was, like, $14k in today’s money. And you know construction wasn’t cheap, because they had already freed the slaves by then! And — What now?!
Okay, can someone please show Kanye how to unsubscribe from this newsletter?

Bonus Joke!

Brands are suspending Twitter advertising after appearing on a verified pro-nazi account. To prove they have no connection with the account, many brands have created slogans such as “Choose Tide, Not Apartheid.” And I agree. The only colors that require separating in this world are in the laundry basket.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment! (Only five jokes are allowed in the poll, so if you likes the sixth — chime in with a comment!)

A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!

If you’re looking for ways to help striking writers and actors, consider donating to the Entertainment Community Fund. And for more weird comics from me — you can find the Uncertain Life archive here!

SOMETHING MORE?

Do you like sci-fi? I have an additional newsletter called Alternate Timeline where I post short stories inspired by current events. Here’s a recent story inspired by the Apple Vision Pro glasses.