Five Jokes: 8-18-2023
Five Jokes: 8-18-2023
Spotify vs White Noise, Trump's Potential Jail, Ron DeSantis Gets Emotional, Rudy Giulianni Pockets Money, & Sunflowers vs Nudists!
Hey! It’s Friday, Lyft and Uber say they will leave Minneapolis if the mayor signs a minimum wage bill for drivers — so, here are Five Jokes to Lyft your spirits!
Y’all hear about this?..
Spotify might be looking to ban white noise podcasts as they become more profitable. This, however, does not include The Joe Rogan Experience, which Spotify has clarified is an entirely different kind of white noise.
Trump could be booked in violent Atlanta jail with crumbling walls — putting MAGA Republicans in the awkward position of actually wanting to fix the American prison system.
Advisors for Ron DeSantis suggested that he show some emotion while talking about his family during the Republican debate. But after seeing what his emotional face in a practice debate, they immediately suggested that he leave his family and never discuss them again. “Family? What family? I’m just a normal, single Governor, obsessed with eradicating drag shows and Black history.”
A new lawsuit claims Rudy Giuliani pocketed $300,000 from farmers investing in an anti-Biden documentary that was never made. What’s more shocking — Giuliani somehow pocketed all $300k into these shorts:
Finally…
Visitors to sunflower fields have been urged to stop posing naked for photo shoots. There are unconfirmed reports of sunflowers shouting, “Hey, this ain’t a moonflower field!”
Bonus Joke!
Intelligence agencies warn that foreign spies are targeting U.S. space companies — hinting in a statement that “…some of the spies might even own U.S. space companies, so you Musk keep your eyes open, if you know what I’m sayin’. Wink Wink.”
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A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
SOMETHING MORE?
Try diving into my old It’s All True! podcast via this conversation with improvisor, Gregory Hollimon, who you might remember as Principal Onyx Blackman in Strangers with Candy!
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See you next week with 25 more jokes!
