Five Jokes: 8-2-2024
Doug Emhoff Merch, Largest Prisoner Swap, Proposed New Rule For Airlines, J.D. Vance's First TikTok, and Jimmy Carter's 100th Birthday Bash
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and here are five jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Merchandise featuring a resurfaced decades-old photo of Doug Emhoff will be hitting the stores from the Harris campaign — forcing voters to choose between four more years of "Mr. Steal Ya Girl” as second-gentleman or four more years of “Mr. Steal The Election” as president.
The U.S. and Russia completed their largest prisoner swap in post-Soviet history with a deal involving 24 people and many months of negotiations and concessions. The biggest concession: No prisoner is allowed to appear on the “hot goss” segment of a daytime talk show. Tea will only be spilled in the Situation Room.
The Transportation Department proposed a rule that would require airlines to allow families to sit together on flights without paying extra fees. Fantastic news for the 15 families in the world who actually enjoy each other’s company.
Sen. J.D. Vance told the “Nelk Boys” he would be “using” their Happy Dad branded alcoholic seltzer in his first TikTok post uploaded Thursday. Hey… Still there? Good. Because the headline you just read is the text version of a stroke.
Finally…
Jimmy Carter’s 100th birthday will be celebrated with a musical gala at Atlanta’s Fox Theatre. Performers will be announced closer to the event pending their aliveness.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Andy Huggins, king of one-liners…
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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UPCOMING SHOWS
And, again… To any New Yorkers out there — on August 14, I’m hosting Banned Book Comedy at Queens Public Library! (TIX/INFO)
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