Five Jokes: 8-3-2023
Trudeau, NPR Polls, The Housing Market, Covid Summer, Cardi B's Mic
Hey, It’s Thursday! And here are Five Jokes!
Y’all hear about this?..
Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Gregoire announced that they are ending their 18-year marriage after “many meaningful and difficult conversations.” Which makes a lot of sense. I can’t imagine ending a marriage after a couple of hilarious and simple quips.
According to the latest NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll, three-quarters of Republicans prioritize the economy over climate change. Wait… I’m sorry, you asked questions to Republicans for something called the “NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll”?! That’s like wearing an “I’m With Her” shirt to buy ammunition. Sure, they’ll give you the bullets, but they might be blanks.
Covid’s summer wave is rising. Or, as Fox News reports it: “Coughing Has Become A Hot New Trend!” (This post is sponsored by their new competition show, So You Think You Can Sneeze?)
The AEI Housing Center estimates that home prices could spike 6% this year and 7% in 2024. But what happens when they spike 100%? Do the homes start buying us?!
Finally…
The mic that Cardi B threw at a Vegas concertgoer is now for sale on EBay. A word of warning: The mic functions a lot like Thor’s hammer, only instead of summoning all of the elements, it gives its wielder an extremely wet — —
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
I know you’ve all been clamoring to hear my thoughts on hot dogs…
If you enjoyed those Five Jokes, check out the jokes from yesterday! And consider becoming a paid subscriber!
A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
https://twitter.com/skyler_higley/status/1687077232403980288
UPCOMING SHOWS
“Movie Quiz” - August 5, 7:00PM @ Brooklyn Comedy Collective (TICKETS)
SOMETHING MORE?
I wrote a short story over at my Alternate Timeline substack. Inspired by Indiana Jones — I just really wanted to create a Black hero who runs around with a whip…
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See you tomorrow with five more jokes!