Five Jokes: 8-8-2024

The World's Largest Iceberg, Gymfluencers, Delayed FASFAs, Explosive Toilet Seats, and Astronauts Stuck In Space

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and for the record…

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• The world’s largest iceberg has been spinning in place for nearly a month and no one knows when it will stop. I’m hesitant to report that this headline accurately describes me dancing in the club.

• Thanks to the rise of “gymfluencers” and a shrinking number of places to meet new people, Gen Zers are flocking to gyms in droves. Incredible. GenZ has fulfilled the millennial dream of going someplace after school to work out, drink juice, and potentially become The Power Rangers.

  

• The Education Department announced that the FAFSA form, for federal student aid applications, would come out late for a second year in a row — meaning things will definitely get heated at the next parent-education department conference.

• A Texas man has been accused of placing 'pressure-activated' fireworks under toilet seats in bathrooms — but according to the police report, nothing compares to the explosive material provided by the first person who sat on one.

Finally…

• Two astronauts who flew to the International Space Station in June for a brief mission may be stuck there until next year because of problems with their Boeing spacecraft. Bad timing for Boeing’s new slogan: “Wanna return to Earth?”

  

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

I’m just happy to see comedians in the Critereon Closet. Enjoy

Paul Scheer

’s picks!

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Just a reminder of where we were politically in 2015…

And, speaking of Power Rangers — check out this conversation with my childhood friends who obsessed over the franchise…

PROCESSING: Mighty Morphin Elementary School Reunion

UPCOMING SHOWS

To any New Yorkers out there — on August 14, I’m hosting Banned Book Comedy at Queens Public Library! (TIX/INFO)

“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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