Five Jokes: 8-9-2024
Kamala's Dilemma, OpenAI Warning, Kremlin Confusion, Official Presidential Debate, and An Ice Cream Lawsuit
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Vice President Kamala Harris faces a dilemma about how far she should distance herself from Biden’s stance on Gaza. Sources say she’s ultimately waiting for a “gut check” moment that would make her shout “Girl, you better run” during a horror movie.
OpenAI acknowledges that its eerily humanlike voice interface for ChatGPT may lure some users into becoming emotionally attached to their chatbot. Which would explain that lipstick stain on the device you’re reading this on.
Ukrainian troops were seen pushing 6 miles into Russian territory, and the Kremlin can't decide if it's a 'large-scale provocation' or 'under control'. “Tell me about it…” said everyone with a roommate.
ABC News says Harris and Trump have agreed to a presidential debate on September 10. If Trump once again flips on his promise to appear, cameras will follow Harris as she breaks into the set of America’s Funniest Home Videos and — to everyone’s surprise — sheds a tear?
Finally…
New York City’s ice cream museum is being sued by a man who says he broke his ankle jumping into the sprinkle pool. The defense would like to call Willy Wonka to the stand.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
gets cosmic…
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Over at
— I spoke with Chris and Stefannie of the Dark Side Divas podcast about the not-so-subtle influence of Dune on George Lucas and the Star Wars franchise.
UPCOMING SHOWS
To any New Yorkers out there — on August 14, I’m hosting Banned Book Comedy at Queens Public Library! (TIX/INFO)
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