Five Jokes: 9-13-2024

Kamala Harris Ice Cream Flavor, Prisoner On The Ballot, Drones vs Tanks, Ecological Cheeto Danger, and A Florida LGBTQ Library Book Settlement

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America and, FUN FACT! —

Dillon Stevenson

will be taking over next week!

Anyway, here are Five Jokes FROM ME (

Tim Barnes

) — RIGHT NOW!

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.

Y’all hear about this?..

• Ben & Jerry's has unveiled a Kamala Harris 'Coconut Jubilee' ice cream flavor. Or, as Donald Trump describes it: “I didn’t know she was coconut until a couple of years ago when she happened to turn coconut and now she wants to be known as coconut.”

• The Alaska Supreme Court has ruled that a congressional candidate currently serving a 20-year prison sentence can remain on the ballot in the election, running for the state's U.S. Representative seat. The candidate could be the first U.S. Representative to attend hearings live via zoom as an intimidating man named Pookie curses at him off camera.

• The rise of drones has humbled the once-dominant tank on the battlefield, prompting armies to change tactics and add defenses to armored vehicles — and for some tanks to start dreaming big…

  

  Thomas used to grumble in the shed at night. ‘I’m tired of traveling the world to shoot soldiers. I want to taste new and exotic foods.’

• Rangers at Carlsbad Caverns National Park in southern New Mexico described a bag of Cheetos left on the floor as a “world-changing” event for the tiny microbes and insects that call this specialized subterranean environment home. It’s reported the the microbes are now wearing sunglasses and communicating in a manner that is “smooth as hell.”

Finally…

• A school district in northeast Florida must put back in libraries three dozen books as part of a settlement with students and parents who sued over what they said was an unlawful decision to limit access to dozens of titles containing LGBTQ+ content. Thanks to the decision, librarians are thrilled to announce that an actual student as checked out a book.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Mind blowing concepts from Cullen Crawford…

https://x.com/HelloCullen/status/1834422559267602665

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Travel back to my 2014 interview with

Dave Hill

!

IAT Ep#30: Comedian Dave Hill

UPCOMING SHOWS

• If you’re looking for something to read — perhaps you can try Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books ahead of my live-streamed conversation with the author on Sept. 25! (INFO HERE)

  

• I’ll be a part of this show hosted by

  Hoff Matthews
  October 15 at Caveat NYC! (INFO HERE)

  

“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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