Five Jokes: 9-20-2024
DILLON STEVENSON TAKEOVER! - Apple's iPhone 16, Nuclear Microsoft Power, Kamala's Guns, Jimmy Carter's 100th Birthday, and Nike's CEO Steps Down
Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!
It’s Friday in America, I’m taking over for — and here are Five Jokes!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
Apple's iPhone 16 has officially arrived in stores. But you already knew that because your previous iPhone has officially begun to disintegrate in your hands.
The site of the worst nuclear disaster in the US is reopening and selling its power to Microsoft. However, if the thought of Microsoft teaming with Three Mile Island brings you stress, remember Microsoft has never let us down before. Just plug in your Zune™, do some Bing™ searches and chill out. Clippy’s totally got this one covered.
While speaking with Oprah, Vice President Kamala Harris said that any intruder who breaks into her home is "getting shot." Upon hearing the comments, a concerned Santa Claus looked directly to camera ala Jim from the Office.
As Jimmy Carter nears his 100th birthday, a musical gala celebrates the ‘rock-and-roll president’ — though some historians are critical of Carter’s status as THE “rock-and-roll president”, noting that James K. Polk could really rage hard.
Finally…
Nike CEO John Donahoe will retire from the position next month after a nearly five-year tenure marked by a series of missteps. The company will begin the search for someone to fill those shoes. Preferably Size 9, but could squeeze into an 8 ½ if necessary.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
I hope you enjoyed those jokes! My name is and you can follow me on Instagram, or my website!
For more laughs, check out yesterday’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber to
:Or my own Substack newsletter!
OR send me a tip on Venmo at @Dillon-Stevenson:
OR subscribe to Tim’s YOU ARE THE GENRE podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or right here in the matrix of this newsletter!
And you can always share screenshots or forward this to a friend!
(this post may be too long for your email — if so, read the web version!)
A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
A great joke from Gordon Baker-Bone…
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
Y’all remember 2020?
Thanks for having me this week! I appreciate it greatly. Keep supporting Tim and I’ll see you around the webs! Remember to check out DigitalDamageDistrictWrestling.com if you like nonsense, pro wrestling and/or video games!
“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” — explains it here:
Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…
…or becoming a free or paid subscriber!
Thanks for reading…
Dillon Stevenson is a comedian and writer based out of NYC, and is the one "Dillon" anyone ever REALLY needs in their life. As the One Dillon, he's landed writing jobs at Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas (HBO), and The Big Fib (Disney+) and co-created Super Video Bros, a comedy party dedicated to celebrating music videos as an art form. Much like his favorite superhero, the Silver Surfer, Dillon's passion is finding the best places to eat.
Funny how you made me think it was Thursday again!
From what I gather, Black people don't necessarily want a White man paying them an unexpected visit late at night...