Five Jokes: 9-27-2023
Biden's Dog Bites Secret Service Agent (Again!), Guns Are Bigger In Texas, Amazon's Existential Crisis, 24/7 TikToks, and London's Tourist Tunnels
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Hey! It’s Wednesday, Earth’s hidden eighth continent is no longer lost, and neither are the punchlines to these Five Jokes!
Y’all hear about this?..
Joe Biden's dog, Major, has bitten another Secret Service agent — making this the 11th time. But the Secret Service is less concerned about Major’s fight with the agent, and more interested in learning exactly how actor, Jonathan Majors, appeared out of nowhere to break it up.
The Washington Post reports that in Texas, “…guns are everywhere, whether concealed or in the open.” Putting it that way adds a dark layer of intensity to all those “yep”s in King of the Hill.
"Yep… Mhmmmm…. Skrrrahh… Pap, pap… Ka-ka-ka…”
The U.S. is suing Amazon in a monopoly case, and NPR reports that it “…could be existential for the retail giant.” So, be careful out there. If I’m not mistaken, “existential” means the last thing you ordered from them could wake up one morning as an insect. “Why does my toilet paper run away whenever I turn on the lights?”
Apparently, the latest way to cash in on TikTok is by going live 24/7. Some parents are frightened by the idea of their teens paying to watch hours of not much happening in a stranger’s apartment. But its technically no different than buying a season of Seinfeld. Hey, slap some slow accordion music on one of these live TikToks and you’ve got yourself a pretty solid French film.
Finally…
World War II tunnels that were once secret are now being revamped as a destination for London tourists. They’re describing them as a great place learn, laugh, and avoid pressing any red buttons with family and friends.
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A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
https://twitter.com/TimBarnes451/status/1473636786119352320
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