Five Jokes: 9-29-2023
*NSYNC's New Single, Emotional Support Alligator Gets Rejected, 'X' Fires Election Team, CVS Pharmacists Walk Out, & A College Degree For Influencers
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Hey! It’s Friday + National Coffee Day — so relax… pour yourself a fresh cup… and maybe give these Five Jokes a read once you get that “push.”
Y’all hear about this?..
*NSYNC has released their first new single in over 20 years called “Better Place.” And it takes on a whole new meaning when you press your ear against the speaker and hear them whispering real estate tips between harmonies and mortgage advice between choruses.
The single also kicks off Timberlake’s upcoming Please Think About Anything But My Dynamic With Britney & Janet tour!
An emotional support alligator was denied entrance to a Phillies Game. It’s reported that the alligator and its owner hardly spoke to each other during their long swim home.
Despite a huge upcoming election year, the social media site ‘X’ has fired its election team. ‘X’ owner, Elon Musk, suggests trying his personal method of sourcing election news: rubbing an orb that’s cosmically connected to Sauron.
Pharmacists working for CVS stores are walking off the job. If the company is smart, it will meet their demands; because of all people, CVS employees have DEFINITELY got receipts.
Finally…
There is now a college degree for influencers. And it has been welcomed into the I.L.O.M.W.M.L.T.A.A.A.T.E.O.A.D. That’s right — the International League of Majors Which, Much Like This Acronym, are Annoying to Explain on a Date.
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A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
National Coffee Day is the perfect excuse for me to pressure you into watching the Comedy Central animated web series I wrote called Marice on Mars!
[watch all three here!]
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