Welcome to October, 2023
Welcome to October, 2023
Weddings, Funerals, Interviews, Explainers, Advice, Documentaries, Podcasts, Ants vs Bees, Tinder LIVE!, & More!
— This is a longer post than usual, so if you’re reading this via email, you might want to hop on over the the web version here to read the full thing! —
Table of Contents:
October Letter from African America: Circles & Cycles
What You (May Have) Missed: Interviews, Explainers & Advice
Recent Pods: Yub Nub & I’ve Been Meaning To Listen To That
Consider Consuming: Two Documentaries & a Podcast!
Something from the Vault: Ants vs Bees
Upcoming Shows: Tinder, LIVE!
Song of the Month: In The Stone
Letter from African America (October, 2023)
Dear readers,
You may recall my September letter about getting married mid-August in a Manhattan courthouse. Well, four weeks after that legal binding, we were — I suppose, spiritually bound as well under a mandap in the Hindu tradition, then moments later — facing each other to exchange rings in the Christian tradition, and minutes later — bound yet again by jumping over a broom, in a tradition with origins that are as confusing as my DNA test results.
All weddings are a collision of families, ideas, hopes, expectations, plans, surprises, the past, the present, and a dash of the future. But what I found most surprising in the act of performing these various ceremonies, is that the convergence of all those elements makes it feel just like that: a performance. Lucky for us, it was in a play no one had seen before, because this was also a collision of cultures.
It was structured, yet improvised. Like the notes my Uncle Gerald played on his saxophone for my Mardi Gras style baraat… Or how my spouse broke tradition by stepping out to witness my celebratory entrance ahead of her own.
Later, we watched each other through a veil — held up on one side by my sister, and on the other by hers — both of us in tears as moments from our relationship surely flashed through our minds.
Her cousin conducted the Hindu ceremony, after which my mother led us through the exchange of rings. I joked later that it felt like we got married in five dimensions.
I appreciate Hinduism’s focus on elaborate cycles. And the cyclical nature of life became September’s ultimate theme. We chose the date because it nearly marks the end of our decade-long cycle as a couple so far. Its also the birth month of my father-in-law (who is no longer with us). And the month of my parents’ wedding — which happens to be the following day.
In the Hindu ceremony, we walked in a circle around a fire representing the principles and promises we made to each other.
In my mother’s remarks, she said, “Let these rings remind you through the circles of life to be as sturdy as gold. Always circle back to love. Always circle back to forgiveness. Always circle back to each other.”
Two days after the wedding, we attended my grandfather’s funeral.
Another cycle.
More symbols overlapping.
A collision of the past, the present, the known and the unknown.
My Uncle Gerald played the saxophone again — this time toward a casket.
To my front, among her siblings, sat my mom — who cared for her father near the end, in a reversal of roles as if he were her child.
To my right sat my sister, who is now preparing to bring life into the world.
And to my left sat my spouse, who I’ve dedicated mine to.
On our honeymoon we stayed in Mexico near the beach. The sound of waves forming, approaching, hitting the sand and drifting back was as consistent as a heartbeat.
I hope this month gives you all some time to reflect on the cycles swirling in your own life.
Structured, yet improvised.
Best,
-Tim
WHAT YOU (MAY HAVE) MISSED
The Return of Five Jokes!
Each weekday I email five topical jokes. And subscribers cast their votes for the ones that make them laugh the most. Given all the traveling this month, I took a few weeks off — but now it’s back. Check out some of the latest jokes here:
INTERVIEW: A Text Conversation With Alexis Wilkinson
I talked to Alexis Wilkinson about Kurt Vonnegut, Wisconsin, Harvard, Jamaican soda, humor writing, & more!
PROCESSING: Why I Email Five Jokes A Day
My daily Five Jokes have returned a week earlier than expected since my wedding/honeymoon, but during the break I published this explanation of why I do it in the first place.
INTERVIEW: A Text Conversation With Adewale Olukayode
I talked to Adwewale Olukayode about East New York, film, philosophy, Kanye, work, race, chess, & more!
PROCESSING: You Are The Genre (and so am i)
I waxed poetic about a phrase that might help you in your creative endeavors.
RECENT PODS
I’ve Been Meaning To Listen To That: Maggot Brain
I returned to the guest seat on this podcast to dissect every track of the Funkadelic album, Maggot Brain! It was fun putting a critical lens on the band’s music — something I’ve never done to this degree before, but definitely will be doing more of in the coming months.
Yub Nub Podcast
The Star Wars focused podcast that I co-host with Jim Fagan and Greg Iwinski has been churning through seasons of Rebels — a show that I love way more than I expected!
CONSIDER CONSUMING
DOCUMENTARY: Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror
Kick off October right by watching this great doc about Black horror cinema. Its so good — I’ll probably watch it once a year.
SUBSTACK: Situation Normal “Tears of sorrow and joy at the donut shop”
I use Substack to create this newsletter, and within the platform is a unique ecosystem of writers. Its how I came across
, who posted the below story at just the right time for me as I continue to process the loss of my grandfather. Estrin is constantly mining his personal life for for insightful gold — and his stories are often as grounding as they are hilarious.
YOUTUBE: Toonrific Tariq “Carl, THE SIMPSONS and Black Identity”
The YouTube rabbit hole of reviews and video essays from people like Toonrific Tariq often has me jotting down notes, smiling at nostalgic references, nodding at unexpected points, and laughing at jokes that are only possible due to some intangible YouTube aesthetic that combines timing, visuals, editing and tone. Tariq’s recent analysis of Carl from The Simpsons felt like a leap forward in his already exceptional body of work. And if you haven’t seen one of his videos before, this could be a great place to start.
DOCUMENTARY: Donyale Luna: Super Model | Official Trailer | HBO
This documentary tracks the story Donyale Luna: a Black supermodel who is often forgotten as being the first Black supermodel. She grew up in Detroit, but as a form of escape, developed a sci-fi inspired persona that aided her on the journey to success. Its interesting that her fame skyrocketed in 60s London — around the same time as Jimi Hendrix, who had his own variation of escape into imagination. I’m drawn to such stories because, I mean… let’s face it, my own trajectory in this world has been full of delusion and escaping into character. As valuable as some escapes can be, it’s good to keep in mind the dangers of going too far into them. Donyale Luna: Super Model is a beautifully crafted warning.
SUBSTACK: At the Mountans of Sadness “Shut Up About Rome and Cathedrals Already”
somehow makes depression seem manageable in his newsletter. But between daily depressing quotes, he also posts hilarious updates like this one about Rome. I was flabbergasted by the comedic lengths of this rant. It caused me to produce the rare (and frightening) out-loud-laugh-while-sitting-alone-in-a-room.
YOUTUBE: Quality Culture: "Rush Hour: An Unexpected Image of Black and Asian Solidarity | Video Essay”
Someone had to start a nuanced dialogue about the Rush Hour franchise, and I’m glad that Stef and Terrence of the Quality Culture YouTube channel did. Watching this helped me put so much of the 90s and early 2000s in context.
BOOK: Interior Chinatown, by Charles Yu
Ever see one of those little free libraries? I often skim them and don’t pick anything up. But Interior Chinatown called out to me, and led to one of the greatest reading experiences of my life. In it, Charles Yu utilizes the screenplay format to tell a story with layers of meaning you’ll keep sifting through for years to come.
SOMETHING FROM THE VAULT
That time I debates Ants vs. Bees with my friend Ian Abramson.
UPCOMING SHOWS
“TINDER LIVE” — OCTOBER 12, 8:00PM @ TV Eye NYC (TICKETS)
SONG OF THE MONTH
Given how important September is in my relationship, a lot of Earth, Wind & Fire was played at the wedding. I was put in charge of the music for the day, and was pleased that the ceremony ended with “In The Stone” blasting from the speaker system. It’s long been one of my favorite songs by the band. It’s upbeat with lyrics about love that’d make The Beatles jealous.
🎶 Every man I meet is walking time / Free to wander past his conscious mind / Love will come and take you home, oh / Love is written in the stone 🎶
Until next time, remember YOU ARE THE GENRE!
Hi Tim! First things first, congrats on the wedding! I love these pictures! Second, thanks for the lovely shout out! I really appreciate it! If you ever want to chat about humor and other good stuff, I am, as they say, here for it.