Five Jokes: 1-24-2025
A Hacking Plot Against Climate Activists, A Jan. 6 Defendant Turns Down Her Own Pardon, Meta Platforms Block Abortion Pill Providers, Penguins In Antarctica Brace For Impact, and Viral 'Canada' Hats
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Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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The U.S. is trying to unravel a hacking plot that targeted climate activists. The search is being conducted in the style of the classic “hot and cold game” with government officials knowing they’re closer to the source based on climate activists shouting, “cold… warm… warmer… globally warmer… hot, hot, HOT!”
One of the Jan. 6 defendants has turned down Trump's pardon, telling NPR it would be a dishonor to the truth of what happened that day. Trump, in turn, has replaced her pardon with an “excuse you?!”
Instagram and Facebook blocked and hid abortion pill providers’ posts. Unsurprisingly, the posts were fully visible once the pills were re-branded the pills as “migrant fetus deporters.”
A wall of ice the size of Rhode Island is heading toward the penguin-packed island off Antarctica — and as much as the omniscient voice of Morgan Freeman would like to warn them, the director keeps telling him to stick to the script.
Finally…
'Canada is not for sale' hats have gone viral. Tied close behind them in sales them are hats labeled Make Canada France Again and Canada Is British Innit?
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Damn, immediately thought of a better joke for the Jan 6 joke. Something something "marking her as one of our nations first pardon poopers." But, hey, what can you do?
They forgot to put "eh?" at the end of the hat name.