Five Jokes: 11-28-2023

Jill Biden's Christmas Decorations, Google's Deletion Plans, French Beach-Smoking Ban, Mark Cuban Says Goodbye To 'Shark Tank,' And What American Avocado Demand Is Doing To Mexican Forests

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Y’all hear about this?..

• First lady Jill Biden unveiled this year's White House Christmas decorations. Among them is this section called The White House Sweet Shop:

  

  When ants invaded the gingerbread house during a tour, she quipped to reporters that it was a re-creation of Jan 6.

  Meanwhile… inside of the gingerbread house:

  

• Google will delete unused accounts in December. The company says the deletions will free up enough space for them to keep claiming that you’re running out of it.

• France will ban smoking on beaches — Suddenly turning all French cinema into science fiction.

• Mark Cuban announced that he’s leaving ‘Shark Tank’ after season 16. Moments later, ABC announced that season 16 will be 100 million episodes long.

Finally…

• To keep up with the growing demand for avocados in the U.S., local officials and criminal gangs are torching Mexico’s forests. So, if you’re annoyed by hip, eco-conscious millennials ordering avocado toast each morning, just lean in and whisper “With each bite, a beautiful tree dies…” before sauntering away with your forest-cruelty-free Sausage McMuffin.

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A JOKE(S) FROM SOMEONE ELSE OTHER PEOPLE

• Get Ali Barthwell on CNBC! And support her cancer recovery fundraiser here.

  https://twitter.com/wtflanksteak/status/1729319100642398328

  

• No one asks the simple questions quite like Rob Haze.

• Great job, mystery person. And great catch, David Lawson!

  https://twitter.com/dtlawson/status/1729170790518751447

  

• Allen Strickland Williams proves that headlines are all about interpretation.

  https://twitter.com/TotallyAllen/status/1729281130782920980

  

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

I recently had a fascinating [EMAIL] interview with writer

C. Elyse

!

An [EMAIL] Conversation With Writer C. Elyse

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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