Top 5 Jokes Of The Week!
Top 5 Jokes Of The Week!
Ever Pee Your Pants?, Women Be Hunting, Walt Disney Returns, Covid Part II, & Terminator Tinder!
Hey, happy Saturday!
The weekend is a great time to reflect, and the subscribers (yes, you!) have voted on what made them laugh the most. There were a lot of ties this week, which gave me the deciding vote. So, with that in mind, let’s take a stroll through the recent past with the…
TOP FIVE JOKES OF THE WEEK!
MONDAY: 7-31-2023
CNN’s Geoff Duncan says that making Trump the GOP presidential nominee will be “a lot like peeing in your pants…” It’ll “feel good for a couple seconds, but then you wake up and you realize the realities of what you just did.” After realizing the realities of his bizarrely specific comparison, Geoff continued, “I’d like to apologize. Making that statement was a lot like going number two in a urinal. Sure, it’s freeing for a moment, but then everyone in the Yankee Stadium men’s room gives you that same weird look.”
[read the other jokes from that day here]
TUESDAY: 8-1-2023
Anthropologists have found that in cultures where hunting was the most important means of finding food, women took an active role 100 percent of the time. In other words, the phrase “Slay, girl, slay!” goes back way further than you think.
[read the other jokes from that day here]
WEDNESDAY: 8-2-2023
Yesterday, after nearly 100 days of the writers strike, the AMPTP reached out and requested a meeting to discuss negotiations. On the topic of why this was the best time to reach out, the studios confessed that Walt Disney weighed in. When asked, “Wait… the real Walt Disney?” They said, “Yeah, he finally woke up from his cryogenic slumber.” And when pressed on the exact calendar date of Mr. Walt Disney awakening, they said, “Oh, about two months ago. It just took him a while to watch all of the Marvel movies.”
[read the other jokes from that day here]
THURSDAY: 8-3-2023
Covid’s summer wave is rising. Or, as Fox News reports it: “Coughing Has Become A Hot New Trend!” (This post is sponsored by their new competition show, So You Think You Can Sneeze?)
[read the other jokes from that day here]
FRIDAY: 7-28-2023
Dating apps like Tinder and Hinge might soon add AI features that help singles choose the best photo. I assume they’re beta testing this now, because more and more dating app pictures are starting to look like this:
“Seeking a partner who enjoys long walks in desolate wastelands and locating John Connor.”
[read the other jokes from that day here]
If you enjoyed those Five Jokes, check out the Top Five Jokes from last week! Or…
CHECK OUT SOMETHING ELSE!
Did you know I have a substack dedicated to short stories based on current events? Well, I do, and it’s called Alternate Timeline! Here’s my latest entry:
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See you next week with 25 more jokes!